Male Responses Decrypted

You have to admit that you’ve heard or used at least one of these, right? :o)

“I’M GOING FISHING” means:
“I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”

“IT’S A GUY THING” means:
“There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?” means:
“Why isn’t dinner already on the table?”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR…” means:
Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN” means:
“I have no idea how it works.”

“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD” means:
“I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR” means:
“Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS” means:
“I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”

“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES” means:
“The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT’S NO BIG DEAL” means:
“I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.”

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING” means:
“And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT” means:
“It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?” means:
“What did you catch me at?”

“I HEARD YOU” means:
“I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”

“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE” means:
“I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”

“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC” means:
“Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE” means:
“No one will ever see us alive again.”